Haven't You Heard, I'm the Crazy Bitch Around Here
June 2013
23 posts
“
when I was a little girl,
they told me one day I would find a man,
and then I would find my home,
and everything would be okay from then on.
that his arms would be my white picket fence,
and his heart would be my american dream,
and his eyes would be the only thing that could call me back when I was driving in a storm,
so I searched for a man,
and I saw many good guys,
and I tried finding my home in his depression,
and in his optimism,
and his abstract idea of life,
and in his openness and vulnerability,
but I could never find
home.
I went searching in faces
and places that I had not known,
and I stripped myself bare of my own skin,
so I could better fit inside someone else’s
thinking maybe,
maybe,
that was how you find home.
maybe if I took my heart out of my chest,
and cracked my ribs wide open,
and gave my heart away,
I would finally find my home,
but I was only left
alone.
so here I am,
trying to tape my skin back on,
trying to staple my fingernails back on,
and superglue my heart back inside of my rib cage,
and I can’t remember where this freckle goes
and I have forgotten where on my face my eyes were,
and I have to rebuild me,
after I destroyed myself in order to find this home I had heard so much about,
and it turned out,
this home was in my heart all along,
I never needed another soul to make it warm,
to make it mine,
all I needed was to love
and love
and
love
and love
and
love
and I was home.
“It’s like that dude Journey says, ‘don’t stop believing…unless your dream is stupid.’ Then you should get a better dream.”
-AWESOME KID PRESIDENT
“So much hate online and it’s got to stop, from racism, to the way people dress and people passing judgements on others. For a while I didn’t understand what cyber bullying was but now I know it’s cowards hiding behind a keyboard, some of which have the same insecurities that I do. You think I don’t read see your negative comments or maybe you want me to see them and you want me to react negatively towards you. I will not do that. I will not put out that energy into the universe. I just want all of the naysayers and “haters” out there to think of how shitty they felt when someone said some really mean shit about them. I’m a human being and it hurts, just like it would hurt you. The only difference is I have to pretend I don’t notice and that it doesn’t hurt. So to all of the people throwing shade on me, talking shit, hating…whatever you want to call it. Please stop. I’m a human being and I bleed just like everybody else.”
—(via katgrahamofficial)
“Alone is walking along a street, just you and your city, taking things in that you often don’t take the time to appreciate when you’re busy with other people. It is allowing your senses to be your company, talking to you with a million different voices of how good this smells or how wonderful that feels. It is taking the time to soak in your surroundings, instead of just existing blindly within them.
Lonely is seeing something so beautiful that you feel your heart cannot contain it all by itself, that it is going to burst from the radiance that it is longing to express. It is wanting to turn to someone, anyone, and say “Look at that. Isn’t that wonderful?” and realizing that, as with so many other memories of late, there is just no one there to share it with.” —Chelsea Fagan, The Difference Between Alone and Lonely (via larmoyante)
Lonely is seeing something so beautiful that you feel your heart cannot contain it all by itself, that it is going to burst from the radiance that it is longing to express. It is wanting to turn to someone, anyone, and say “Look at that. Isn’t that wonderful?” and realizing that, as with so many other memories of late, there is just no one there to share it with.” —Chelsea Fagan, The Difference Between Alone and Lonely (via larmoyante)
